DEAR ABBY: I’ve been spending time with a certain gentleman for more than five years. I am in love with him. We dated at first, then became friends with benefits. He had another woman move in with him a few years ago, but we are still friends with benefits, and he has become my best friend. He listens when I need someone to talk to and knows how to give a good pep talk when I need one. We talk several hours a day and text throughout the day.
I know in my heart we are meant to be together. He tells me he loves me but says he can’t ask the other woman to move out because she doesn’t have anywhere to go until she makes the person living in her house move out. How do I talk to him about this? – OTHER WOMAN
DEAR OTHER WOMAN: Friends do not string friends along for years, which is what this “gentleman” has been doing to you.
He invited the other woman to move in because she is providing something he finds of value. (Are you sure they haven’t gotten married or enjoy similar benefits?) If he wanted her out, he would find a way to do it. During your next “hourslong” phone call, tell him that as much as you care for him, you can no longer continue to live in limbo. Give him a deadline to get rid of his houseguest and, if he doesn’t meet it, cut off his “benefits.”
DEAR ABBY: As a woman, I am infuriated by men of all ages who have to adjust their crotches all the time. Is there any way we can tell these men that what they’re doing is vulgar and embarrassing, and it’s rude to do this in public? I’m almost tempted to caress my breasts with both hands and push upward. But I guess that would be worse. Any ideas? – INFURIATED IN TOPEKA
DEAR INFURIATED: Forget hoisting your breasts skyward. Rather than succumb to infuriation, dig deep and try to feel some sympathy. This has everything to do with our Creator’s grand design. Because men’s genitalia are external, they sometimes get pinched in their clothing, which is uncomfortable. It’s only natural that they reflexively try to remedy the situation. Because it bothers you so much, try looking elsewhere.
DEAR ABBY: After a long period of infertility, a dear friend of mine found out she is expecting. Unfortunately, a mutual friend at work stole her thunder and told me about the pregnancy before she had a chance to tell me herself. While I’m pleased to hear that she’s pregnant, I’m also a bit upset that because I already know, I can no longer give her a genuine reaction consisting of love, shock and excitement when she tells me face to face. Of course I will still express how happy I am, but should I let her know I was already informed? – ALREADY KNOW IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ALREADY KNOW: By all means tell your friend how happy you are for her and that you know how long she has wanted this. Express to her how exciting the news is, but do NOT tell her you already heard it from a co-worker.
Happy birthday for Oct. 10: Look for the positive in everyone and everything. Your numbers are 4, 9, 20, 28, 34, 39, 48.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Simplify your life. Consider what makes you happy and the people who bring you joy. HHH
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Participate in events that will help you reunite with people from your past, including ex-colleagues, former students or distant relatives. HHHH
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Put more energy into what you are trying to achieve. Stick to the truth, and live moderately. HH
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t overlook the obvious when trying to figure out what others are doing or what’s expected of you. Romance is encouraged. HHHHH
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Say little, and do a lot. You’ll be remembered for what you accomplish, not what you talk about doing. HHH
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You should know the drill by now: If you want something, it’s up to you to make it happen. Stay focused, be direct and don’t fold under pressure. HHH
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Size up your current situation at home, and decipher whether you can make suitable changes or if you have to start from scratch. HHH
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Use your imagination, and make changes that will improve the way you do things, how you live or how you look. HH
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Think big, but live within your means. Size up what needs to be done, and approach people who have the wherewithal to help you. HHHH
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Take a different approach to an old problem, and you will find a way to fix what has been holding you back for some time. The limitations you have faced in the past are giving way to easier and less stressful situations. HHHH
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): An opening or chance to try something new and exciting will entice you. Don’t sacrifice too much. HHH
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You are overdue for a change. Consider what you would like to happen and how you can make your dream come true. A partnership will make a difference in the way you live. HHH