OK. Some of you are no doubt thinking about running for political office this year. In fact, I’ve already seen a couple of announcements in the Daily News. So if you do decide to throw your hat in the ring, here are a few things that you might want to keep in mind, especially if you expect to have a decent shot at getting elected.

First, you need to learn to be vague. Never be specific about anything. If someone asks you about your position on an issue, concentrate on philosophy instead of policy. What are your thoughts on murder? Just say you are against it – in most situations. Don’t start explaining what you would do to prevent it. Nothing good will come of that.

Second, and closely related, never commit to anything. If someone asks you a straightforward yes or no question, the last thing you need to do is give a definitive yes or no answer. Just say it’s complicated. Or you are still thinking about it. Better yet, give a response that has nothing to do with what you were asked.

Third, learn to be all things to all people. This is really the key to getting a lot of folks to vote for you. If you are speaking to a group of evangelicals, for example, make sure you tell them you have always been a Christian. Later, when you are addressing the Knights of Satan, make sure you mention how you have always admired Lucifer.

Finally, learn to ignore criticism. There are a lot of ignorant, judgmental, holier-than-thou wannabes out there. And if you say anything important or relevant, one of these idiots will invariably try to take you to task. Just smile and say thank you for your perspective. Remember, stupid, narrow-minded people vote, too.

Aaron W. Hughey

Bowling Green

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(4) comments

victoria

I completely agree. I ran for City Commission and said I wanted to stop all the rezoning and large apartment building until we can figure out the true impact and no increased taxes and was vilified. “We haven’t raised taxes in years,” “People need affordable housing.” Properties are reassessed which makes a significant contribution to the funding of the goverment. With the new construction of large apartment complexes this should also contribute significantly to the local coffers. And yes, the PVA decides when to reassess, but the City Commission wants us to believe they never have conversations with the PVA. And when the population increases a certain percentage, the City Commission is required to reduce the property tax. When it was placed on the agenda, the reduction was .01%, the minimum required.

And while I’m on a roll, has anyone ever questioned why there is only one

Trash service available in the city limits and it’s required to use this trash company if you want utilities, but if f you live in the county you have a choice of providers?

I also raised concerns about more money going into the redevelopment of downtown and why there was only one bid. And why if there had to be more money put in downtown, why not put some money into the Shake Rag district? Like spending money to do something with the vacant shopping center across from the Kummer -Little Center?

And where is this affordable housing of which everyone is speaking? The cost of renting has significantly increased. And a lot of the crime seems to have apartment addresses lists as the place of the incident. It was expected. Just Google “behavioral sink”.

I decided to run knowing I would have to quit my out of town job and take a pay cut to find employment in BG, but I thought my home town was worth it. But now we have turned a corner with the apartment explosion, increased crime, and it will take years for our town to reach a new balance.

Please vote and vote wisely.

So, yes. Be vague. Be likeable. And let the League of Cities train you on the business model and forget what you do actually impacts people.

Enough Already

A hat tip to Aaron W. Hughey for saying it like it is.

No politics here, just the straight unvarnished truth!

Koheleth

"There are a lot of ignorant, judgmental, holier-than-thou wannabes out there. And if you say anything important or relevant, one of these idiots will invariably try to take you to task. Just smile and say thank you for your perspective. Remember, stupid, narrow-minded people vote, too."

This portion fits you to a T my friend.

BRains

And if you explicitly lie about anything, anything at all, and are caught doing so, just say you MISSPOKE!

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